|Brenda from Cozy Little House|
This week I have Brenda from Cozy Little House . I have followed Brenda's blog but never really got to know her until I read her feature. You will enjoy getting to know Brenda's honest approach to her feature and her blog.
When Kris asked me to write about myself, I was suddenly wondering what on earth I'd say. I mean, I'm sure most of you get more than enough of me every day at Cozy Little House. Which is somewhat of a misnomer, since I currently reside in an apartment.
What more could I possibly tell you that I haven't already? Probably not much.
And I don't have hardly any photos of myself. I'm always the person behind the camera.
Since starting Cozy Little House in April 2009 (then losing all my posts in July 2013, then starting anew) many of you have missed all that happened before. And I don't want to rehash it, for much of it is not very happy and somewhat unsettling.
What I am is a prolific writer. I have wanted to be a writer since I was no taller than a yard stick. If I wasn't copying words out of the dictionary, I was writing about the goings-on in my little neighborhood.
My daughter & Andrew
To me "news" was of vital importance, even if it was just about a neighbor's cat that had kittens. Everyone needed very much to know, I thought!
I've been married three times, which either says I'm not good at being married or perhaps not good at choosing men. Whichever it is and maybe it's both, I won't be going down that road again. I have absolutely no desire to ever have a man in my life again. I just don't think I could go there for lots of reasons.
I am happy at home with the pupsters, Abi Rose and Charlie Ross, who are nearing 9 years old now! Oh, how did they grow up so fast?
They are lying right here beside me, which is where they almost always are. If I get up and leave the room, I can't stop abruptly or the little train that is the pupsters will collide.
Some people worry that I don't veer outside the confines of my home much, but they needn't worry. I am chatting online in my virtual world. I am talking on the phone with other bloggers.
I'm not much of a cook. Oh, I baked bread and cooked and baked a lot when my kids were young. But now, I loll about and I might eat oatmeal for supper. Three nights in a row.
I'm one of those people who desires to be a great cook, but just does not have the motivation that is necessary for such an endeavor.
If I was in the kitchen, I might be missing out on something in the patio garden. I would not be as on top of things on my blogs as I want to be. I might actually miss a bird visiting my patio!
You know how much I love gardening. I take endless photos out there on the patio. I am most happy when digging in the dirt. Whether that be in the ground or a container.
You do know the earth laughs in flowers, don't you?
Oh, and I just found out I was nominated for the Amara Interior Blog Awards last week. My first thought upon reading it was: Is this a joke?
Then it was actually fear. Because it said the short-listers would be going to London in the fall for the ceremony. I'm sure I won't be in that category, so I don't think I should be very concerned.
I left it sitting in my email inbox for days, wondering what to do. If I wrote about it on my blog, it would be more real. I'm sure by the time others read this, I will have mentioned it though. I even forgot to ask what I was nominated for!
I thought: Me? No, I can't do that. The thought terrifies me. But then that's the autistic side of me talking I suppose.
I'm very humbled and grateful for the nomination. I can't imagine why someone would think of me in that regard here in my somewhat rundown (outwardly anyway) little one bedroom apartment!
Moving onward, I suppose my chief motivation these days is helping other women. And of course for me that means online. I know what it is to be afraid and not be able to find answers.
As other women have helped me both now and in the past, when I was trying to get up my courage to leave and divorce my last husband.
If not for all of my readers and blog friends, I don't know that I'd ever have gotten up the nerve. He kept saying I couldn't do it. All of you kept saying: "Oh, yes you can."
And so, in August of 2011, I filed for divorce. I was terrified. I needed every one of you to stand next to me so I wouldn't fall. You didn't let me down. You have no idea what that means to me.
It's been hard. It's been scary. I broke both sides of my ankle in July of 2012. I've had two surgeries since. If it hasn't been one thing, it seems it's been another.
I'm ever so thankful to Doreen of House Honeys who set up a GoFundMe account for me because, due to a string of bad luck, I was scared half to death I wasn't going to make the rent and feed the pupsters the last months.
I have so much to be thankful for. So many people who have cheered me on.
Maybe I didn't have a mother or father or a traditional family, but I have a slew of wonderful blogging friends and loyal readers that I adore.
I yearn to do research (which is another love of mine) and give women all the information and news and facts they might need in this often difficult world. Much like that little girl back in the late sixties, who shyly walked door-to-door to hand out her carefully typed pages she called a newspaper.
Except I'm no longer writing about new litters of kittens. I'm writing about this and that and everything. I guess I'm not much of a "niche" blogger now I think of it.
I found out some months ago that I have Aspergers Syndrome, which was a bit of a shock. But at least it gave me answers as to why I'm not sociable, and very uncomfortable in situations that most people have few problems with.
Well, except fellow Aspies, as I've learned they're called.
Have I gone on long enough? Sometimes I get going and am hard to shut up.
I might not have what it takes to attend a party and chit-chat, but I can write to you endlessly online. Because this is my safe place. For which I am so very grateful.
Thank you Kris for giving me this space to devote to me, this blogger behind the blog.
I love this series and I think every blogger truly wants to know just who a blogger is. Not just see her pretty pictures and skim the periphery of her life.
I'm a real Robert Frost and Emily Dickinson fan. They are my two very favorite poets in the world.
I'll leave you with my favorite poem by Robert Frost...
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.